I am a Canadian Assistant, eh!

I live in Ottawa our nation’s capital. I don’t live in an igloo or take a dogsled to work and I don’t ski in July. I live about ‘10 clicks’ from work and take an OC Transpo bus to get there. Up here OC stands for the County of Ottawa-Carleton, not Orange County.

The first thing most people do in the morning is get a ‘double-double’ coffee and donut at Tim Horton’s, or more affectionately known as ‘Timmy’s’. We can pay for it with a ‘Twoonie’ or two ‘Loonies’. Our troops in Afghanistan have a Timmy’s on their base to make them feel at home.

I am doubly blessed with not only having a Canadian accent ‘eh’, but I also have an Ottawa Valley twang. At work however I am a professional and don’t answer the phones with ‘G’day’ or say ‘see ya’ when I say goodbye.

I try to keep my desk ‘organized’ and ‘co-ordinate’ my boss’s day. Sometimes my boss can cause a big ‘kerfuffle’ with stressful deadlines and we all go running to ‘get er done’.

I write Canadian English and when I type the letter ‘z’, I pronounce it ‘zed’. I requisition ‘cheques’ when I need to pay an invoice and I spell labor "L A B O U R". I try to keep myself professional and younger looking by ‘colouring’ my hair when the ‘grey’ starts showing. I celebrate Thanksgiving Day on the second Monday in October, not in November.

If I go to a restaurant for breakfast, I have a choice between white or ‘brown’ toast and when I am finished eating I ask for the ‘bill’. I go to the 'washroom' when nature calls and when I take time off work I say I am ‘on vacation’.

I go out for lunch with the girls at the office and I work across the street from the ‘lads’ on Parliament Hill, where we have a Prime Minister, not a President. Because I work so close to the 'Hill', I have a front row seat to see and hear all the protesters when they come visitin’. Hey, one time the farmers all drove to town and parked their tractors out front and honked their horns all at the same time. Now, that got the politicians’ attention eh? When the boys from the Valley come callin’, well all I can say is, “We sure know how to ‘giv’er’ up here”.

I will still be watching hockey in June and wondering when a Canadian team will finally win the Stanley Cup and bring it home to Canada where it belongs.

I am looking forward to celebrating Canada Day on July 1st, not July 4th.

Yes, I AM A CANADIAN ASSISTANT eh!

For more on the Canadian way with words click here.